Stuck in the middle with a deranged zombie nun in a leisure suit

I know its Halloween but I don't really have any Halloweeny things to say. I will post a picture of myself in costume from a few years ago though.

We took our dog to the vet today. He tested positive for heartworms before we got him so we're just making sure all is copasetic with that. Since we adopted him from the SPCA in order for them to pay for the treatment we had to go to a vet about 40 mins away. I found myself really enjoying the ride.

I had the window down, The Band Big Pink album playing. The drive was nice and someplace I haven't been before. It was all very mellow.

This makes me think about music and how it affects me on a daily basis. I would not call myself an expert on music by any stretch of the imagination... Hell I can hardly remember a band's name let alone a song title or album name. I do think I have a good grasp of music appreciation however.

I know there are people out there who maybe only listen to music on the radio and sometimes not even then. I can't imagine a life like that. Perhaps I'm just immature and have some residual teen angst that forces me to play songs depending upon my mood, but regardless it is still there. Music is a form of expression for the art, but like other art, it is open for interpretation. I dig on the interpretation part.

When I was going to film school, my favorite part was putting the score to the track. I found myself cutting to the music all too often and my highschool teacher remembers the plague of music videos that infected me. After all these years too, that's what he remembers heh. Not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

Despite all my babbling here I'm sure I had a point somewhere. I'm sure there are people who hate art, who "just don't get it." There are those "rational" "Common sense" "salt of the earth type people" who think art is waste well excuse my language here folks but fuck 'em. What the hell do they know? They wouldn't know creativity if it jumped up and bit them on the ass.

So go out folks and turn on your favorite song, album. Listen to the song you lost your virginity to. Put on the song that your friends created a silly dance for (no? okay maybe that was just me)

Here is a great song... and this guy is just WAY too happy. drugs? Maybe he finds the dude in the green leisure suit amusing. I know I do.

Thank Goodness That Is Over!!!

For the past two weeks, my hubby worked 12 hour days on the midnight shift at the hospital. UGH! Poor guy. It really messed us up at home too.

Homeschooling was all out of whack, schedules couldn't be adhered to. And since I still don't have a stove, and I don't touch the mysterious man-tool called a grill, we've been living out of fast food bags and the microwave. As you can guess, my tummy hurts. :(

No writing has been done, but a little revising has.

We are back on track this morning with waffles for breakfast (thank god for the waffle maker) and homeschooling woohoo!!

We have plans to get house repairs done and some decorating, re-finishing wood and painting furniture, yay!

And now for something that goes together as well as pickles and chocolate...

I've done 110 out of 133 things

Level 1
(x) tried a cigarette
(x) tried a cigar
(x) smoked weed
(x) kissed a member of the same sex (if sisters, moms and bet friends on the cheek count)
(x) drank alcohol

so far: 5

Level 2
(x) are/been in love
(x) been dumped/rejected
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired/let go (Laid off thanks very much)
(x) been in a fist fight

so far: 9

Level 3
(x) snuck out of a parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
(x) gone out on a blind date

so far: 13

Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die

So far:16

Level 5
(x) had/have a crush on or liked one of ur MYSPACE friends.
( ) been to Africa
(x) been on a plane
(x) thrown up from drinking

So far: 19

Level 6
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding/skiing
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
(x) been mosh pitting

So far: 21

Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
(x) like/liked someone who you cant have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel

So far:25

Level 8
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

So far: 30

Level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone taboganing
(x) cheated while playing a game.
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

So far:35

Level 10
(x) used a fake/someone else's ID for something
(x) watched the sun set
(x ) felt an earthquake
(x) killed a snake

So far:39

Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) watched someone, Gut a deer

So far: 43

Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident

So far: 46

Level 13
(x) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight

So far:50

Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) post-it notes?

SO FAR: 55

Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
(x) swam in the ocean/gulf
(x) felt like you were dying

SO FAR: 59

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

SO FAR: 64

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) kissed in the rain

SO FAR: 67

Level 18
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach

SO FAR: 71

Level 19
(x) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true

SO FAR: 75

Level 20
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed "penis/dick" in class
( ) swam with manatees

SO FAR: 78

Level 22
(x) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube/popsicle
(x) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top

SO FAR: 82

Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 3 hours
(x) stayed up all night

SO FAR:86

Level 24
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had/been in a tree house (built it)

SO FAR: 89

Level 25
(x) believe in angels, God, Jesus, Ghosts, Aliens, Honest Politicians, Santa Clause, or the Easter Bunny.
(x) have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
(x) gone/visited someone to/in jail

SO FAR: 92

Level 26
( ) played chicken
( ) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused

SO FAR: 94

Level 27
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made a porn video
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed

SO FAR: 97

Level 28
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house

SO FAR: 105

Level 30
(x) Rode a roller coaster
( ) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
(x) had a cavity
( ) Black-mailed someone
( ) been black mailed

SO FAR: 107


Level 31
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
( ) licked someone's elbow

TOTAL: 110


"I like you. Do you like me?"
"I'm not sure."

HAHA

Fruit is hazardous to your health

I've decided to lead a life of crime.

I will now be known as...

Prickly Pear People Iced: Forty Car Bombs Planted: Thirteen Favorite Weapon Bottle Rockets Arms Broken: Four Eyes Gouged: Twenty Seven Tongues Cut Off: Thirteen Biggest Enemy: Johnny Tight Lips Get Your HITMAN Name AWSOME-GAME

P.S. This is also my Veggie Tales name. :-P

Answer me these questions three.

1. You can only say Yes or No!

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!

****************************************


Danced in front of your mirror naked?
Yes

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
Yes

Kissed someone you didn't like?
Yes

Kissed a picture?
Yes

Slept in until 5 PM?
YES

Had sex at work?
No

Fallen asleep at work?
Yes

Fallen asleep at school?
Yes

Held a snake?
YES

Ran a red light?
Yes

Been suspended from school?
No

Totaled your car in an accident?
No

Sang karaoke?
Yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
No

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Yes

Kissed in the rain?
Yes

Sang in the shower?
Yes

Gave Your private parts a nickname?
No

Sat on a roof top?
Yes

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
No

Broken a bone?
No

Shaved your head?
Yes

Slept naked?
Yes

Blacked out from drinking?
Yes

Played a prank on someone?
Yes

Had a gym membership?
No

Felt like killing someone?
Yes

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
No

Cried over someone you were in love with?
Yes

Had sex more than 3 times in one day?
Yes

Been in a band?
NO

Subscribed to Maxim?
No

Played strip poker?
No

Tripped on mushrooms?
No

Donated Blood?
NO

Video taped yourself having sex?
No

Eaten alligator meat?
NO

Eaten cheesecake?
YES

Still love someone you shouldn't?
No

Think about the future?
YES

Have a crush but can't tell them?
No

Skipped school?
YES

Drank and drove?
Yes

Crashed a party?
Yes

Ran away from your problems?
Yes

Been beat up?
No

Been so mad that you cried?
YES

I totally want to explain some of my answers... but I won't. I will follow these rules.

Stupid girls...

I am faithfully dedicated to not liking modern pop music. There is an exception to every rule though, I suppose. I am a music lover and can appreciate almost any genre (at least in song meaning, despite the "music" i.e. rap)

I do not like this song persay but the meaning is dead on and I'm happy that someone famous took this topic on. A friend of mine, who has similar views on this type of music as I do, brought this video to my attention. Thanks MH!

I do not think that one has to want to be president, play football or hate looking nice to be considered "smart." Just please sheeple... think for yourselves.

To cook or not to cook, if only that were the question.

Appliance repair... YAY! Our oven is kaput. Well, it's actually more like it works too well. It won't stop heating. You can turn it to 100 degrees, it will still heat to as hot as it will go. UGH! My oven hasn't worked for months. Now, in the process of fixing it, I don't have a stove top either. Oh the joys of microwave cooking. Blech!

I need Oven Repair Man!

I'm a big wuss... and a little something to amuse you in case that doesn't

I hate scary movies. I love roller coasters, instense storms (seem storm chasing reference from yesterday's blog) physical danger doesn't really bother me... but holy shit make me watch a movie about clowns or a pyscho doll or some killer asian kid and I go flippin' nuts!

The ring... um totally did a number on me, and yes, for the whole freaking week until I was supposed to die, and then didn't. My early demise was supposed to happen one night when I had some girls over and we watched Sense and Sensabilities... perhaps that saved me?

Serial killers don't really bother me, well they do, but just a little. Vampires and werewolves... love 'em! Chucky...? Um just save me the hassle and kill me if you are ever planning on forcing me to watch any Chucky movies. Or better yet, get me a bucket. Scary movies make me sick to my stomach and I feel like I have to hurl when I'm all scared.

I guess the whole point of ths blog is why the hell a I'm writing "scary" stuff if I don't like it? Well, I don't write about stuff that really scares me, but I'm wondering if I should. Would I scare myself? Probably. Perhaps I get so freaked out because I have an active, okay overactive, imagination? Is the part of my brain that makes me flip out the same that allows me to write? Should I feed it or starve it to help my writing?

I'll stop my random raving now and give you something completely different than this... a weird Al moment... it will either annoy the hell out of you or crack you up... for me it was both. The laughing parts are really worth it though.

How do I get to.... let me count the ways.

I'm not sure exactly why I love it, but I love taking new routes to places. Is it some sort of control issue that I need to know a half dozen ways to get to any one place? Probably. I'm convinced I'd be the perfect get away driver... or maybe that guy with the maps from the movie Twister... yeah I could do some storm chasing.

I also like remembering how to get somewhere after only going there once. It boggles a lot of people's minds that I'm able to do that... but it's saved their butts more than once lemme tell ya.

This guy could use a little of my sense of direction.

Something new to read... Yay!

I started working on something new last night. I've been editig book one and plotting out book two in more detail, as well as doig more research and beginning chapter one. Yesterday, however, I was in the mood for something different. Here's a preview...


I’m deadly. I know that. I know a lot, but that is the only thing I know about myself. I kill—with ease. With more than ease, killing is the closest I get to feeling pleasure. Hell, feel anything.

I’m capable. I am one of a select few that survived. I take care of myself. I have knowledge that no one else does. Yet, I have no idea how I gained the information.

The dichotomies of my personality are astounding. I hunt, fish and trap. I kill, maim and inflict pain when it’s needed. I quilt, garden and darn socks. I can bake a cake over an open fire and know how to remove organs from a person while keeping them alive. I know—lots of terrible, dark things.

Oh, and I’m coveted—by all.

J.R. Ward: Great Author, Great Series

I'm not even through with the 3rd book in J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series and I can't sing its praises enough. Anyone who likes alpha males, paranormal, vampires, romances anything... will love this series. I'm totally hooked. I stayed up until 5:30 am finishing book two.

So run out and buy all three now because as soon as yo finish the first, Dark Lover, you'll want the other two right away.

Dreams...

I can't decide whether they add to a book, or make it cheesy as hell. In theory it is a great way to show there are more layers to your characters... some of their subconscious motivations or thoughts on certain issues. Especially in the paranormal genre, so much can be done with dreams. Or if you write in first person narrative as I do, your character will avoid thinking about certain things, so how can you get your reader to understand that lack of thought? You'll have to show that thought some how and subconsciously, in a dream, is one way to achieve that.

I have two dream sequences in my book, but they are different... I swear. Ha! Don't we all say that? ( no seriously they are :-P ) Really they are more visions, a witnessing of someting happing in real time, that just happen to take root when she is sleeping... see I told you they were different. I suppose that is a slight variation to the dream sequence.

Another method of story telling that I'm not sure I like is the story teller itself. Having a story teller in your book. I can see the merits of it (movie: Princess Bride, yay!) but really, isn't the author story teller enough? Unless the story is written in first person, with a limited perspective, or the story teller themself has some key role in the story being told, I'd rather have it done away with altogether. It seems redundant to me. You have the author, you don't need a story tell to add flowery words to your story, to add dramatic tension. Either put the flowery words in the text, or do away with it all together.

Okay so I was looking up cheesy dream sequences on YouTube in hope to find something amusing for my blog today but I found this instead... hope you enjoy the impressions.

He Loves Me... He Really Loves Me

His royal craziness.... Zappa

So our crazy dog Zappa wasn't feeling so hot today. He came in from outside after releasing some fecal matter and began to yip and cry like he was in pain, but nothing was on him, on his paws and no one was touching him. I came over to him and he wound around my legs, seeking protection and comfort. He loves me! This from a dog that never stays still long enough to pet him unless he's sleeping. He isn't very affectionate... but I know he loves me now!

Wait you selfish girl... you're thinking... What about his pain. Who cares that he loves you, what's wrong with him, the poor dog has a stupid owner who is only concerned with herself..

His anal gland was full and he couldn't express it himself so we took him into the vet and it's all taken care of.

I'm not a bad dog owner! How dare you accuse me of such... keep it up and there may be a smiting in your near future.

Measure of Success?

**CAUTION: MAY CONTAIN ADULT MATERIAL**
_______________________________________


You know you have a good story/movie/book when a porn spoof gets made.

I am on a forum for readers and writers... there is a section for erotica and it had links to adult movies with a plot... which I wasn't sure really existed outside of the bermuda triangle... here are some interesting, albeit humorous, ones I found...

The DaVinci Load... he painted the Mona Lisa with semen...

Space Nuts... take off of Space Balls, which was a take off of Star Wars

Ooh another Dan Brown ripoff... Da Vagina Code.

Young Buns... okay this isn't a spoof of Young Guns, but it should be.

Golden Fingers

The Maddam's Family

8 to 4

Clockwork Orgy

Pulp Friction

And the top ten titles of porn parody according to Eros Zine are:

10. Willy Wanker and the Fudge Packing Factory

9. A Tale of Two Titties

8. Frankenpenis

7. Desperately Seeking Semen

6. The Joy Suck Club

5. ET: The Extra Testicle

4. Shaving Ryan's Privates

3. Schindler's Fist

2. Romancing the Bone

1. Edward Penishands

Spring Cleaning in the Fall

Today was the first day in a long time we were able to comfortably have our windows open. I think in Florida we have a fall cleaning, not a spring cleaning. It gets so damn hot down here that most of us have a non existant tan in the summer. It is just too miserable outside. Most of us smart souls, who live down here all year long (if that's smart,) stay inside during the summer. So logically, the relief to our hibernation would come in a reduction of heat, not the increase like up north, one more thing that sets us apart.

I rearranged our dining/music/homeschool/office room today.. phew! When we moved a little over a year ago we lost a bedroom, or our office. So we're stuck with a multipurpose room smack dab in the center of our house.

Movie Review time!!! Thank You For Smoking.

Thank You For Smoking... tagline: America is living in spin.

This movie, starring Aaron Eckart and a wonderful supporting cast of Willian H Macy, Katie Holmes, Rob Lowe and Sam Elliot, cracked me up. Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckart,) a lobbyist for the tobacco industry, is bent on putting spin to everything in his life, just for the challenge of it.

It wasn't afraid to push some cultural buttons. In the process, however, it wasn't a serious movie bent on taking sides or a political stance on any topic. Quite refreshing.

While I like political movies that have a particular message-- Thank You For Smoking was a nice departure from that. It manages not to be politically correct without being offensive-- quite a feat.

Here is a trailer to let you decide for yourself...

Takin out the trash

It's trash day! It's trash day!

Being gone the first half of last week, means the trash didn't get put out at the road. We are overflowing here. We live in the country, so that makes it all too tempting for critters to get at it. But.. YAY! It's trash day and I remembered to put it out.

Last night at about 2 am... yes I know... why the hell was I up so late... A strange scratching noise was coming from my front door. It almost sounded like someone was trying to jimmy the lock. Luckily I didn't freak out...

Okay I got a bit nervous. Then I remembered that cats often go up there so that's what I figured it was. Still though it wasn't going away. I went over to the door and held something up to the peephole. I've seen too many movies to not want to get my eyeball shot out of my head. Okay yes, that is totally overdoing it, but it was after 2 am and I was reading a vampire novel... sue me. I crouched in front of the door and knocked on it to alert whatever it was to go away, which it did thankfully.

Then a car decided it wanted the screech down my road. Our road is a long and pretty straight with a high speed limit... so lots of bike and car enthusiasts like it.

This car was way over the top. To the point where my ususally silent, docile, pitbull decided to go nuts and bark like I've never heard him bark before. Once again, all around 2 am.

So what did I do after that? Went back to reading my vampire novel, The Turning by Jennifer Armintrout. Who, I just found out after reading the author bio, is from Michigan like me and is the same age as me. She lives in the town I went to college in and lived for 4 years before I moved to Florida. I think that's pretty cool. Not only that we have so many things in common... but that I knew all the places she was talking about in the book. I love that!

Now for your viewing enjoyment... something I am so glad isn't true of my house...

If you fart in a voting booth does the candidate stink even more?

Missed yesterday and some of last week so you lucky folks get two blogs today.

My son is sitting on a couch and our dogs are sitting around him... and they are pretty farty today. He moved to the other couch, only to be persued by our stinky butt pitbull. Moving to the other couch again, inspiration struck him.

The president should put an end to farting... imagine the speech... "And I shall do away with all farting" and the crowd raises their fists and shouts "YEA!" then head directly to the voting booth.


The kid has an amazing imagination.

Wish I could take credit for it.





Why are they so excited about STDs?

PC problems and bodily fluids... yuck!

Ahh! More internet problems.

I've been trying to get on all day and it hasn't worked until right now, at almost 5 pm. So folks, sorry for the inconsistency in blogging.

What have I been up to since I have all this time that I'm not blogging you ask?

I've been editing... yep yep Dread Pirate Rewrites and all that.

Really though... it hasn't been so bad. I'm enjoying it actually, but don't tell anyone that. I've really had a chance to get even more deeply involved with my characters and have been adding awesome foreshadowing, which is always fun. When someone unknown person reads it after it's finished they will think I came up with all of the stuff right away. Ha! Who am I to set them straight.

I don't know how long editing will take but I am feeling pretty good with my timeline so far. I finished the rough, my first mind you, in 4.5 months.

I'm feeling pretty un-PC today and am resisting the urge to post some distasteful picture or video. And for those of you who are mocking my technological prowess, I'm talking about being politically correct not personal computer.

Spinning is the name, lying is the game

My first blog in a week...

I just got home from Michigan. The trip was good, fairly stressful, since I was in a wedding. Being involved in weddings takes work, mainly just running around. It can be difficult when you show up only 2 days before the wedding though. Everything ran smoothly however.

And now for something completely different.

I'm feeling the need to have a bone to pick with the media, news in particular.

Spin Doctors is the name, spinning is the game... or lying, whatever you want to call it.

From Wikipedia:

Spin Doctor: "Skilled practitioners of spin."

Spin: "In public relations, spin is a usually pejorative term signifying a heavily biased portrayal in one's own favor of an event or situation. While traditional public relations may also rely on creative presentation of the facts, "spin" often, though not always, implies disingenuous, deceptive and/or highly manipulative tactics."

The techniques of "spin" include:
-Selectively presenting facts and quotes that support one's position (cherry picking)
-Non-denial denial
-Phrasing in a way that assumes unproven truths
-Euphemisms to disguise or promote one's agenda

Another spin technique involves careful choice of timing in the release of certain news so it can take advantage of prominent events in the news.

Now that we are on the same page as far as the definition of spin and spin doctors, I shall continue my rant.

This past week has been full of news of schools, children and related events.

The one I am particularly interested in is Congressman Foley, a (I hate to say it) fellow Floridian.

In this case, his spin doctor is his lawyer, David Roth. For those of you who aren't familiar with Foley, he recently resigned after news of sexually explicit emails and messages to male teenage pages were made known.

The spinning? Well first Foley was going to rehab because he was an alcoholic. Come on folks, I don't care how drunk you are, it isn't going to change your sexual preference, whether gender or age based and certainly not both. Not to mention that this happened on several occasions, not a one time lax in judgment.

Next? Well now he was abused by a clergyman as a teen. I do not condone this and it certainly is a shame if it's true, BUT (you knew it was coming) being abused doesn't make you an abuser.

Then news of his "homosexuality" has been confirmed. Big deal, so he's gay. All this scandal because he likes his own gender sexually? And he is a Republican? This is ridiculous.

Every killer, sexual deviant, sexual predator, bank robber, speeder has reasons for what they are doing, perhaps even long-term, deep-seated issues that causes them to do what they do. But they still get in trouble for it.

We know that people do things for reasons, perhaps even reasons that are understandable, commendable, pitiable... but wrong is still wrong.

I certainly wasn't alive at the time, but 50-100 years ago, bad was just bad. Evil was evil. There were no diagnoses for deviant behavior, whether behavioral, sexual or criminal. Bad was just bad. There were no reasons behind it.

There was nothing to sympathize with.

Is the world better or worse for it?

Has sympathy made our world safer or more dangerous?