Common mistakes of fiction writers

1. Passive writing: If you don’t know what this means, chances are, you’re doing it.

Passive: Susie had mentioned that to me before.
Active: Susie mentioned that to me.

Passive: We started to walk to the store.
Active: We walked to the store.

Passive: I’d been contemplating this for awhile.
Active: I contemplated this for awhile.

Passive: There was a rainbow in the sky.
Active: A rainbow decorated the sky.

2. Either too long complex sentences or too many short ones. Long sentences go on and on and by the time the reader has gotten to the end, they have no idea what the hell you are talking about. Too many short sentences make the reader feel stilted. It’d be like reading in a strobe light—jarring.

3. Infamous telling as opposed to showing.

Telling: Tasha was confused and frustrated
Showing: Tasha fisted her hands against her sides as her brows drew together.

Telling: Bob’s head was cut off by Bobbette.
Showing: Sword swinging in an arc, the blade cut cleanly through the already bruised skin of her throat.

You tell me which one is more interesting?

4. Preaching. Pretty self explanatory but as a writer, you may not even know you are doing it.

Preaching: Justin watched as the teens tripped over their pants and blared loud rap music. What was it with kids today? Fashion was one thing, but pants that long, and showing boxer shorts? It just didn’t make any sense—common sense. And the music, ugh, the music. Didn’t old people have a hard enough time hearing without the music blowing out their eardrums?

Not Preaching: ................*crickets chirping*............


Yup that’s right, nothing. Cut out all preaching unless it is essential to your character. Chances are with fiction, you aren’t writing your thoughts about the world down in some philosophical manifesto that will change the world. You want everyone to know that kids with baggy pants are stupid? Make them trip over them. Music too loud? They are criminals and get caught because their music covered up the sirens wailing to come pick them up. It basically comes down to show, not telling again. Show us why these things are bad, or good, don’t just spout your opinion about it and expect the reader to swallow it. I wouldn’t.

5. And last but not least for now. Over use of the exclamation point. It tends to leave the reader feeling like whoever is saying or thinking stuff with !!!! after it is ditzy. Like, oh my god! Everything is so exciting, I can’t contain myself! Typically the exclamation point serves one purpose in fiction: when someone is yelling. Thoughts should not have ! Excited statements, unless screamed, should not have ! Show us the character is excited, don’t show us they’re dumb by making them seem like excited puppies about ready to pee on your floor. No one I know like a pissed on floor and chances are, your reader won’t either.

Til next time…

-ST

And now time for Keith Moon, is really IS excited by everything.

Character Profiles

Profiles of a few characters from the Sam series.














WHO are you?

I'm bringing back shorts

stories that is.

You won’t want to hear this, but we rarely do when the truth is concerned, do we? We put our proverbial fingers in our ears and scream “Lalala” at the top of our lungs. We focus on what the beautiful people are doing. We listen to the gossip, watch our TV shows, listen to our packaged music and try desperately to shut out what I’m trying to tell you. And what pray tell, is it that we are so afraid of? The answer is quite simple really—ourselves.

Mr. Rail is just like you and me. He has the same thoughts, the same everyday problems. Stress headaches form where his head meets his neck and heartburn relief always is elusive. He is Everyday Joe, your neighbor, your kid’s teacher or worse yet, their guidance counselor. He is exactly what we are—except he’s been pushed to his limit. He shows us what we are capable of when push comes to shove. However, instead of comforting us, our means of survival are frightening. The lengths Mr. Rail is willing to go to stay alive far exceeded anyone’s expectations—far exceeded anyone’s horror.

Has Mr. Rail done these things to save another—his children perhaps? A parent driven to the brink would certainly do anything…right? No, he is not saving his children, his wife, his mother, his countrymen or even a starving child in Africa for a few cents a day. No, Raymond is saving his own hide. Pure and simple—Mr. Raymond Rail is willing to do whatever it takes to keep his own life. Some call it instinct. I call it greed, conceit, sin.

I call it normal.

******************

Lame haha.

Movie Review: Borat

I am not a “politically correct” person. Do I go around flaunting that? No. It’s just too damn hard to keep up. I mean what do I call Islanders from let’s say Jamaica who are now Americans? They aren’t African Americans because they were never African. I can understand calling people that who immigrated here from Africa. But those who have been here for generations? Doesn’t make sense to me. I have no problem being called white, in fact at one point being called an Irish American would’ve been an insult, and not so long ago, German American would’ve been.

I know a white guy who was born in Ethiopia. Is he African American? Technically yes. What about all of the South African whites? Needlessly to say, the term is too broad. And these are just examples of one term—imagine all the thousands out there.

That being said, I don’t get sensitive over crude rumor. In fact, I can normally find myself laughing at it. If a joke is funny, it’s funny, period.

So… based on all that… what is my opinion on Borat?

I can honestly say it was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Not only was it not funny, but it was insulting. Ahh yes, you think, all of the anti-Semitism in it. No, that’s not the problem. Sacha Baron Cohen, the actor playing Borat, is jewish. No, his stance on the stereotypical person from Kazakhstan was appalling.

I was looking forward to watching this movie very much. Having a degree in film, I like seeing its boundaries pushed. I like controversy. I like different. I like films that challenge the norm. I really wanted to like Borat, but I just found myself sick to my stomach over Cohen’s actions. How he played upon people, lured them into thinking he was something he wasn’t. Taking advantage of people’s hospitality—our country’s hospitality.

And my personal favorite… selective cutting. Cutting to applause at something he’s said when the people did not react that way. Putting scenes into a context that wasn’t there. It is like a lie. I know this was a mockumentary. But the only thing mocking here was the fact that he wasn’t who he said he was. Everyone else was themselves.

Sacha Baron Cohen is an irresponsible filmmaker, a conman if you will. He preys upon the weak, the susceptible. Then he mocks them nationally. He does this not only at our nation’s expense but at Kazakhstan’s as well. I am so happy he’s being sued—may he go broke over this film.

HOW to think, not WHAT to think

Today I want to talk about not only research, but knowledge. I’ve said quite a few times that I want to teach my children HOW to think, not WHAT to think. I believe that is also true of adults.

Many individuals believe that learning ends when school does. There aren’t a whole lot of people checking out text books at the library, but there are some. Most of us read for pleasure (hey I’m not knocking it, because that’s exactly what I do) watch TV, movies, listen to music… but how many of us actively seek out knowledge? Fewer than I’d like I’m sure.

For a “civilian” (and in this sense I use that term to refer to someone who isn’t a writer) this is standard M.O. For a writer however, we need to write about what we know, consequently that means we need to know A LOT.

So, where do you start? Do we just learn about everything possible? Well, that may be taking it a bit too far, but I don’t think knowledge ever hurt anyone, unless of course you are writing an intrigue and those who are in the know are getting bumped off with a quickness. I’d say a good place to start is with topics that interest you. For me it’s witchcraft, mythology, archaeology, psychology, Vikings, Motocross, swords, martial arts, wolves etc… So I look up those things. I’m not a big fan of nonfiction reading, boy do I wish I was. So instead, I try to find documentaries about these topics. Or motion pictures that deal with the subjects.

Blockbuster Online and Netflix are great places to start looking. For Vikings: I watch 13th warrior, Beowulf and Grendel. Witchcraft: the Craft, Practical Magic. Wolves? I read Call of the Wind, perhaps watch White fang, and find documentaries dealing with their group dynamics. Archaeology? I purchased a subscription to an Arch. Zine. Swords? I have a friend who is interested in them and has helped me with authenticity in my book. I also went to a SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) meeting and immersed myself in living history.

In home schooling we have something called Living Books. These books are used for teaching, but are not nonfiction. They are usually told like fiction, but have a great deal of historically accurate information in them. Nonfiction tends to be very dry—it’s like a rule or something. So why put yourself through that if you don’t have to? We are studying the Middle Ages this year, so I bought a book called “How would you survive in the Middle Ages.” Instead of a dry account of what life was like, it compares it to modern day and makes the child put themselves in the place of a peasant, a lord, a lady… submerging them in the culture, making it real for them, or alive—thus a living book.

When first trying to learn about a subject, I head for the children’s section. Not only are the books more colorful and entertaining, but they are also written for a novice. If I have no prior knowledge of something, why would I go to the adult section to get an adult book? I’d jut be torturing myself and not get anywhere. Whereas, if I start with a kid’s book, I lay a foundation of knowledge to build upon, instead of trying to build the second story on a foundation of muck.

Now, let’s say that I achieve a level of adult knowledge on a subject—where to go from there. How do I know what to learn about a subject? What is important?

Well it just so happens that I found an invaluable resource last night. Just so happens it’s FREE. MIT has most of the courses online for free. Granted, you won’t be getting a degree, but the reading lists, syllabi, lecture notes and assignments for classes are online. Check it out: http://ocw.mit.edu/index.html

Then we have my favorite resource of all time-the internet. I look up on average, a dozen things a day. I am a seeker of knowledge, I like knowing things. I love useless facts (which even if they seem useless I can typically entertain someone with my random facts, thus making their life richer by having me in it. HA!)

If you don't seek out knowledge, all you are left with is what you were taught in schools. If you went to public school, then you would be limiting yourself to knowledge that was boxed and stamped with approval. There isn't anything wrong with that, but the boxes are mass produced, why would you want to be just like everyone else? Why would you only want to have the knowledge that was approved? What about all the things that didn't get a Grade A Stamp? Do you know what they call teaching someone the information, and only in the information you want them to know?

Brainwashing.

This video is called Brainwash America: How to Brainwash a Nation. (It's just a video folks, not a political statement of mine)

Murphy's Law counterbalances my Irish Luck

I wanted to set up a pattern for my blogs.

Monday: Short story
Wednesday: Rant, random fact about me, recipe... basically Misc.
Friday: Something about writing, what I've learned, haven't learned, problems etc...

So on the first week I was going to try that and introduce it today, what happened? Well a short story didn't want to come to me that's what... freaking bastard. I should've known better than to try to schedule creativity.

I was writing something about a woman held captive in someone's basement. So I was going for suspense and terror here, but suspense and terror were elusive. Dry, boring, dull, cliche were in abundance however.

So I did something I normally don't do, looked for writing resources online. There is nothing wrong with this. I've done it a few times and it's helped. I try not to do it often and I only resort to that when I've already written something, not before. I try to get my creativity out, then try to fix it. So I came upon an article about writing suspense. And while it didn't help me with my short story, it made me think about Inevitable, book 1 and I see some improvements I could make. WOOHOO!

Everything happens for a reason.

Here's the article:
Michele Martinez on writing suspense

"What's my name b.." "Geez. Sandra Tuttle. Happy now?"

I woke up at 6 something this morning, groggy after only 4 hours of sleep. Laying there in a half awake stupor, I had a good idea for a blog today. Then I fell asleep and it went bye bye. I believe it had something to do with active and passive writing, as I commented on someone else's blog yesterday regarding that very same thing, but for the life of me I can't remember. Ugh! I'm sure whatever my idea was--it was groundbreaking, important, really entertaining stuff... so let's just pretend that's what this turns out to be.

Let's say, just for shits and giggles that I'm wildly successful come next summer when my 10 year high school class reunion is... I get whisked to the non existent stage and asked how I became so successful.

And here is my definition of success:

-Find something you love to do.
-Do it well.
-Pray that it's something you can make money at.

Then there's a clause. Find something that you'll love to do "forever" or at least a long time. For me, I like to do a lot of things. I like making movies, I like reading, quilting, listening to music, teaching, animals etc... But very few if any of those would I be able to do for a long time. I am a Jill of all trades, or I'd like to be. I like to know how to do something, and once I do, I move onto the next thing.

But for me, writing is different. I can picture myself doing this years from now, no small feat.

Was I born a writer? Hell no. To be honest, I always hated writing, but I've always had a very active imagination and always came up with stories. As far as the actual writing is concerned? Well I won a poetry contest in 3rd grade and had a poem published when I was a teenager... and that's the extent of my writing LOL *listens to all the oohs and ahhs of wonder*

I just never had the proper motivation to write my stories down. I am a fairly creative person, or at least someone who needs an outlet of the artistic variety. I've painted, drawn, sculpted, designed lighting for dramatic presentations, made movies, abstract video art, experimental installations, acted and now I'm writing.

In college, I'd spend my time in Script Writing class staring at a blank computer screen. Story Telling class on the other hand... a little spark started to ignite, surprising the hell out of everyone, especially myself. I normally tell my stories face to face, with sound effects and wild hand gestures--not to mention the facial expressions that really say it all. Come to find out, I was able to tell a pretty good story in first person, if it was from personal experience. Since I didn't want to make a movie about my life (I know that I'm not as interesting as I think I am) that still left me hanging with no scripts.

Then YEARS down the line, I started reading again. I didn't read for pleasure in college because frankly, I was too busy reading for torture. I starting reading YA books, because one of my sons is a big reader. He reads mostly fantasy. Then I started reading romance novels again. Then was introduced to paranormal fiction--and was blown away. That was the key that unlocked it all. I've always been fascinated in the occult, with witches, vampires--the dark things, but never reall thought about it much. But when I started to think about it...

Sandra Tuttle was born.

"What's my name b.." "Geez, Sandra Tuttle, happy now?"

I woke up at 6 something this morning, groggy after only 4 hours of sleep. Laying there in a half awake stupor, I had a good idea for a blog today. Then I fell asleep and it went bye bye. I believe it had something to do with active and passive writing, as I commented on someone else's blog yesterday regarding that very same thing, but for the life of me I can't remember. Ugh! I'm sure whatever my idea was--it was groundbreaking, important, really entertaining stuff... so let's just pretend that's what this turns out to be.

Let's say, just for shits and giggles that I'm wildly successful come next summer when my 10 year high school class reunion is... I get whisked to the non existent stage and asked how I became so successful.

And here is my definition of success:

-Find something you love to do.
-Do it well.
-Pray that it's something you can make money at.

Then there's a clause. Find something that you'll love to do "forever" or at least a long time. For me, I like to do a lot of things. I like making movies, I like reading, quilting, listening to music, teaching, animals etc... But very few if any of those would I be able to do for a long time. I am a Jill of all trades, or I'd like to be. I like to know how to do something, and once I do, I move onto the next thing.

But for me, writing is different. I can picture myself doing this years from now, no small feat.

Was I born a writer? Hell no. To be honest, I always hated writing, but I've always had a very active imagination and always came up with stories. As far as the actual writing is concerned? Well I won a poetry contest in 3rd grade and had a poem published when I was a teenager... and that's the extent of my writing LOL *listens to all the oohs and ahhs of wonder*

I just never had the proper motivation to write my stories down. I am a fairly creative person, or at least someone who needs an outlet of the artistic variety. I've painted, drawn, sculpted, designed lighting for dramatic presentations, made movies, abstract video art, experimental installations, acted and now I'm writing.

In college, I'd spend my time in Script Writing class staring at a blank computer screen. Story Telling class on the other hand... a little spark started to ignite, surprising the hell out of everyone, especially myself. I normally tell my stories face to face, with sound effects and wild hand gestures--not to mention the facial expressions that really say it all. Come to find out, I was able to tell a pretty good story in first person, if it was from personal experience. Since I didn't want to make a movie about my life (I know that I'm not as interesting as I think I am) that still left me hanging with no scripts.

Then YEARS down the line, I started reading again. I didn't read for pleasure in college because frankly, I was too busy reading for torture. I starting reading YA books, because one of my sons is a big reader. He reads mostly fantasy. Then I started reading romance novels again. Then was introduced to paranormal fiction--and was blown away. That was the key that unlocked it all. I've always been fascinated in the occult, with witches, vampires--the dark things, but never reall thought about it much. But when I started to think about it...

Sandra Tuttle was born.

Recipe: Angel Chicken

Something a bit different today. I'm in the grips of AWESOME rewrites... I've found what was lacking in book one so I'm off and running trying to fix it, making it KICK ASS. It's like Christmas and I just found the Dread Pirate Rewrites to be my very own sweet farmboy, Wesley.

So here is the recipe (a very good one btw) that I'm making for dinner tonight. It's quick, yummy and great for those days when as a writer you don't have the time or the brain power to cook much.

Angel Chicken

6 boneless chicken breasts
1/2 cup butter
1 pkg dry italian salad dressing mix
1 can golden mushroom soup
1/2 cup white wine (cooking wine or regular drinking wine)
4oz. onion & chive cream cheese
pkg angel hair pasta (cook according to box directions)

Place chicken in crock pot. In sauce pan melt butter. Stir in italian salad dressing mix, soup, cream cheese & wine. Pour over chicken. Cook on low for 4-5 hours. Pour over cooked angel hair pasta or any kind of noodle you desire. (Rice works well also).

I like to use Penne for my pasta. When its done cooking, I take the chicken out, mix the cooked pasta in the with the sauce, lay the chicken on top then put the cover on. It stays warm for seconds or if, like my house, not everyone s hungry at the same time and wants to eat later.

Sandra’s Philosophy on Writing.

Yup that’s right, I haven’t even finished my first novel to completion (Still battling the Dread Pirate Rewrites) but I already have a writing philosophy… in fact, it is more like a philosophy on life.

Here she goes…

Picture this: A kindergartener, sitting on the floor of his classroom in his Osh Kibosh Goulash overalls with a pile of building blocks in front of him. He runs his pudgy fingers over them, beats them together. He messes them up, liking the noise they make when they hit each other. His teacher notices that he’s just sitting there with the blocks but he isn’t building anything. She winds her way through the maze of other children sitting on the floor and gently suggests to our kindergartener that he build a wall with his blocks. Seems harmless enough—a gentle push in a direction of learning, right? WRONG! She may have just squashed any creativity the child would ever have with building blocks. Now he associates them with building a wall, and he didn’t make this association himself, someone else gave it to him. It is very possible that the child would come up with building a wall all on his own, but maybe the blocks weren’t for building to him, maybe they were for making music, or creating art, like a mosaic.

Teach your children HOW to think, not WHAT to think.

And what, all powerful ranting author blogger lady, does this have to do with writing, you ask?

Everything.

I don’t want someone telling me that I need a plot point on a certain page of my book—then I will forever associate that page with a plot point, when it may very well be the case that my story doesn’t work with a plot point there. But it will be ruined forever. Which is why I don’t read rules to writing—grammar sure, you have to have grammar if you want anyone to understand what you write, let alone getting published. But I don’t let grammar slow me down. Grammar can be fixed after the fact, which is what I am currently doing.

Perhaps the process would’ve been quicker had I just learned grammar before hand. However, if I was spending my time thinking about grammar, and less about the story, it wouldn’t matter how great the grammar is, if the story sucks, it sucks, whether it’s written coherently or not. But if you have a great story with bad grammar, isn’t that a problem too? YES, but poor grammar is easy to fix, a broken story isn’t.

I don’t take any chances with my muse… okay I just lied there. In the beginning, I did take some chances, although I didn’t know that’s what I was doing. I sent some chapters out for critique before I had even finished the rough draft. A mistake in the long run, perhaps. I did get some helpful advice, like SHOW NOT TELL, but overall I think it made me a little neurotic and set me back. I know not to do that anymore. I know to trust my instincts as a story teller. It’s my story to tell, only I know how to tell it. Once I have the story down in black and white, then is time for me to take a step back and look at it with a discerning eye. Like I am currently doing. I am not opposed to criticism, in fact I welcome it, seek it out even. I know I am crippled by knowing what every character is thinking and where the story is headed, so I need someone who doesn’t.

Good Authors List

This is a random blog that is off schedule. I have a bit of time today, just finished reading a new book and was posting about it on a forum. So that makes me think of other books and be on the lookout for new ones. I'm always seeking new authors and it helps me decide to read someone if I get a good recommendation from someone who I know enjoys the same books I do.

So here is a list of authors that I enjoy. So if you like reading things similar check out the other authors:

In no particular order...

Paranormal Fiction:

LAURELL K HAMILTON dark and sexy books, she makes a great read no matter what she writes.

CHARLAINE HARRIS: I'm a fan of her Southern vampire series.. GO sookie!

KIM HARRISON Kim writes a different kind of book in a different kind of world, if you like vampires, weres, witches etc... check her out

SUNNY: I finished Mona Lisa Awakening a few weeks ago and was thoroughly entertained by it. It's dark, sexy intriguing and full of real characters.

KERI ARTHUR: sexy sexy sexy *raar* Check out her Riley Jenson series

KATIE MACALISTER: A fun author, her Aisling Grey series is both entertaining and lighthearted.

KELLEY ARMSTRONG: I would classify her books as those of a serious author. Mild humor thoroughout, but for the most part the plot is on the serious side.

LILITH SAINTCROW: Dante Valentine is a woman with issues and a kicking ass attitude.

CARRIE VAUGHN: Ahh, then we have Kitty, the werewolf, a late night radio show talk show host. Her books are full of humor, good music and weighty plot when it's required


Paranormal/Futuristic Romance:

MICHELLE BARDSLEY: Chick litty voice, books full of spunky moms turned vamp.

KRESLEY COLE: No Rest for the Wicked may be one of the best romances I've read this year. The romance aspect of the book was great... but the surrounding plot blew me away, quite a fertile imagination Cole has.

SHERRILYN KENYON: The Dark Hunter series--very original in idea and well written, the series should be read in order to get the most of it. Valerius and Wren are two of my faves.

SUSAN KEARNEY: The Challenge is my fave of hers--futuristic romance.

KAREN MARIE MONING: Paranormal historicals with time travel, faeries and lots of hot scottish guys!

LINNEA SINCLAIR: wonderful world building, especially in Finders Keepers.

JR WARD: Brotherhood of the Sword series has to be my favorite romance series to date. She writes warrior men extremely well... so well in fact that I'm jealous as hell at her amazing talent.


Romance:

SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS: key word here: quirky

KINLEY MACGREGOR: aka Sherrilyn Kenyon.

SUZANNE ENOCH: Historicals that have creative very individual heroines and progressive thinking males.

DEBORAH SIMMONS: The Devil Earl is my fave of hers.

TANYA ANNE CROSBY has the knack for writing in scottish dialect. I had a blast trying to sound out the words as I read.


Fiction:

JANET EVANOVICH is funny funny funny.

MICHAEL CRICHTON: Sphere was a fave as a teen.

CLIVE CUSSLER: Dirk Pitt is a throwback hero from another time. I adore the way Cussler interweaves archaeology, history with modern technology and social issues.

DAN BROWN: suspense and intrigue at its finest, yet another author whose mind I'm jealous I don't have.

GEORGE ORWELL: 1984--possibly favorite book of all time.


YA books:

JK ROWLING needs no introduction.

DIANE DUANE: The young wizard series (pre Potter thank you very much) is delightful and full of awe, especially book two of the series Deep Wizardry

EOIN COLFER- Author of the wacky, boy genius Artemis Fowl

CS LEWIS needs no introduction either

MELANIE GIDEON: The Map that Breathed is a wonderful book

TERRY PRATCHETT: Bromeliad Trilogy is great, YA books with adult themes told though a story that is easy for everyone to grasp--on par with Animal Farm by Orwell to me.

BRUCE COVILLE: An amazing author is so many different genres.

LOUIS SACHAR: A must read for children and adults with sense of humor. For anyone who has ever known, raised, or been a child with ADHD There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom is a must. Versatile author.

It's sucking my will to live!

Help!

My brain refuses to get into writing mode. I sit in front of my WIP and my eyes glaze over, my brain turns to fuzz and my fingers refuse to type anything. It isn’t writers block, I know where I'm going and I have things to write, I’m just not terribly sure on how the next scene will play out. I could do a writing prompt no problem, I could do some rewrties, but Book 2 or DeJa Vu is screwing me!

I open the file and it acts like the Suck and Cut from Wayne's World... "It's sucking my will to live!"

Last time this happened, I worked around it, but it took me about two weeks to trick my muse. I don't think my muse, Sam, is my problem this time. So what am I going to do about it? I'm going to go to Walmart and Barnes and Noble and spend money with frivolity. If that doesn't solve my problem, I don't know what will.

Looking for opinions...

145 blogs later and I'm still not sure what I'm doing.

I read an article about the purpose of blogs and it helped me see things in a different light. Blogs are our legacy. They will be here for years, well after we've forgotten about them. They are archived and people can look at them ten years from now. Is what I'm saying in my blog important enough, relevant enough, to stand the test of time? To be honest, I'm not sure and that worries me.

I am not a published author...yet, so the traffic here is most likely fairly light, but I know I have some faithful readers and some lurkers to be sure.

What is it that these people keep coming back for? (and it isn't because they are my best friends or family, cause they don't read my blog regularly lol)Do they like my short stories the most? The trials of figuring out how to be a writer? My hints and tips I've learned along the way? The ranting I do from time to time? The random facts about me? Is what I'm saying going to be relevant years--decades--from now? Once again, I don't know.

Is the frequency of my blogging not as important as the content? I'm sure it isn't. But don't people want to know when there will be something new posted? I'm sure that's the case as well. So I need to set a schedule for blogging, which I already have, but I also need to make sure each and every blog is meaningful. Now how do I calculate when I'll be able to make a significant blog? That gets a bit tricky. Each week is different, inspiration is different from day to day. I have vacations, shoddy internet connection, illness etc. So any suggestions?

I'd like to know what my readers think. How often should I blog (within reason folks) and what are your favorite type of my blogs to read? I spend time 3-5 days a week trying to come up with something of worth to read, let me know if I'm succeeding in that.

Update and Stories that runaway from me.

Not a whole lot has been going on more than the normal mundane bullshit. I finished watching season one of Sawyer... oh excuse me, of Lost on DVD. Quite entertaining, although a bit of the awe has been rubbed away--hopefully they bring it back in season two. Timberlake is bringing back SEXY (as if Sawyer ever went out of style) and LOST is bringing back AWE.

I also wrote a few more pages on book 2.. woohoo!

This is an experiment with poetic description that got out of hand. I had no expectations of where this story was going to go. I simply thought of an image of something soft floating in the water and how to describe its beauty. And like most things I do, it got away from me.
**************


Floating on the time of yesterday, the honeyed locks beat against the waves of today in vain. Despite the gentle back and forth swaying, she was not going anywhere. A horrific beauty, not unlike a Portuguese Manowar jellyfish, assaulted him. He had seen her in this position many times, but she never appeared so angelic before. The rounding of her normally sharp features created a serene being where before there was a calculating hardness in her countenance—narcissism.

The warmth of the sunlight was not needed. His blood was already rising in temperature from the spectacle below him. The tightening of his nether regions didn’t startle him. No, he had expected this reaction—eagerly anticipated it. He wanted to fill in the blanks her expression left, fill it with his own release. Sexual need swarmed him, relentless on its pursuit.

He wanted more time to enjoy this, he had created a masterpiece. He had carefully arranged her, just so. Pulling the rope tied to her neck, her body created a small wake behind her as she glided toward him. Taking the tennis ball out of her mouth, her cavity greeted him with a delicious openness. Her expression, now slightly shocked, amused him, invited him in. He would replace her conceit with his completion.

Little did she know, he had planned this from the beginning. The minute she had talked to him about working on her new project—he knew. This was his chance. For greatness.

After drying his hands on her towel, he snapped pictures with his Polaroid. He would ruin this art he created, but he wanted—no needed—a record of it. He needed to recreate this exhibition for the camera next week, although she would no longer be the actress he was using. For she was one mouthful shy of being all used up.

Lady in Waiting...Staff

Another little intro ditty...

I like having a clean house, but I despise cleaning it. I adore eating gourmet food, but abhor cooking. Such is my lot in life. I was destined to be rich and pampered, I’m sure of it. I can even pull off uncomfortable designer shoes without so much as a grimace. Instead, my unassuming alter ego is a telemarketer by day and my superhero persona is a diner waitress by night. The ability to carry five plates at once on one arm is definitely a super power—and I’m talking the USSR in the eighties kinda super power here—huge.

I’m telling you, dear readers, all of this so you can understand why I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I was asked to save the world. The ability to serve breakfast hash, wear four inch spike heels and make a killer Cosmopolitan saved not only my life, but all of yours. I’ll be expecting letters of glowing praise and generous donations by the end of the week.