Screw you Creepo!

Went to see Rocky Balboa last night... and before you moan and groan about another Rocky movie and how cheesy its going to be, think about it. Why is it your instant reaction to think its going to be bad or cheesy? Just because it started in the 70's? Just because it has some iconic qualities of the 80's?

I'll be very honest, it was a good movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think Sly Stallone is a great screenwriter and he really has Rocky down to a tee. In fact it kind of pisses me off when people's first reaction to a sequel, okay or even number six in a series is to be condescending or joke about it. Look at Star Wars, they did phenomenally well. Look at Clerks 2, there was a bunch of shit about Clerks having a sequel and I loved it. Give these movies a chance people. Sure, sequels aren't always the best... hell the first movies aren't always the best, look at the Look Who's Talking series... but then take a look at Godfather, it can be argued that the second is even better than the first.

Rocky Balboa was quite emotional and executed very well. The characters are real and the setting hones in the reality of Philly life. I was blown away by it to be honest. Go check it out.

For the twisted, but not the broken...

Wow am I early in blogging today or what?! I rock. Okay, this idea came from serial killers I guess, and their pasts. It has to start somewhere doesn't it? I wonder about the nature of humans a lot. There are so many of us and we are all different, and let's face it, some of us are darn right sick in the head. How does this happen? What enables someone to be so sick? Well, what if that capacity was in all of us? Kinda freaky right? I started writing this on the 13th but added some new stuff to it today (or technically last night.)

Let 'er rip!
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The madness is what’s kept him sane, involuntary as it is. Regret always manages to sneak in after the fact, but the blessed madness is his friend, a life long friend.

The urges come and with it sanity fades. He is conscious during these bouts, but conscienceless. No, during these times, the world is his playground, and just like much of his childhood, he bloodied up playgrounds.

The decision to drown the rat was much like this, involuntary. As a boy, he found an injured rat in the field behind his house. He tried to save it and brought it in to show his mother what a good boy he was being. Only his mother shrieked and lambasted him, shooing him and the rat out of the farm house door with a broom. The rat made his mother not like him. The rat needed to be punished. The rat needed to die.

The boy followed the path along the stream, waiting until he reached the small wooden bridge. He climbed over the rock pile to get under the bridge. Like a modern day overpass, there was room on the side for a person to stand, a place to seek refuge from the elements. Only there was no place to take refuge from this element, from the madness that arises in the young, and turns darker yet with age. This drive, as elemental as thunder itself, comes from one small genetic variation. This variation only needs to be triggered by some childhood trauma to release the chains that bind the urge.

This variation is in 90% of the human race. The other ten percent? The other ten doesn’t need it triggered, it exists from birth.

Word to the wise...

Make sure you are in the right frame of mind before continuing on a story you already started. I went back through some of my stories, some of my darker stories. Then I continued to write book 2 of the Sam series... the result? Well it is written in a different voice than Sam's. I'll have to redo it bah! It may work considering what I was writing about, but I think it will have to at least be revised quite a bit.

The plus side to this little debacle I got myself involved in...? Well I wrote some pretty kick ass description and set the scene well, which is something I believe I need work at.

Random fact about me: I had a speech impediment as a child. There were many years when I didn't talk much. When I did, I had to repeat myself so often that I'd get irritated. I was able to say nevermind fairly well though. To this day I hate having to repeat myself.

Day after Christmas for the artsy fartsy

My Christmas went well yesterday. It was nice and laid back, quite a difference from them when I was growing up. I guess there are blessings and curses living far away from family. I like not having to go to a big family get together, but I miss it at the same time.

I made a new banner for my site today... lemme know what y'all think.



Ooh, for Christmas my hubby is buying me a digital camcorder. I just have to pick it out. Very exciting!

I must say I'm relieved.

I've tried my best to keep my promise of blogging mon-fri but I must say, I'm relieved it's friday. I will have two days off after today. Decorating the tree must've taken quite a bit out of me because my creativity is sorely lacking these days. So I apologize for the lack of interesting blogs lately. I'll try to do better after the holidays.

While I haven't been doing much writing I did look at the query letter I was working on. My trusty sidekick, the Cheerleader of Doom, and I both thought it was pretty good. YAY! Progress. I dont' want to give you the whole letter because it'll give too much away that I want my readers to be surprised at but I'll give you the high concept:

here goes nothing...

What if the world forgot your existence? Everything you owned was gone and your own mother wouldn’t even recognize you, but the monsters you’ve stumbled upon in your new life know you very well.

And now for a sales pitch of a different sort...

We decorated our tree last night...

WOOHOO! It is so nice to be able to sit in the dark and look at our tree. I know it's kind of corny, but I've always loved having a christmas tree. We don't do the "nice" "sophisticated" tree either... nope it has colored lights and kiddie ornaments, red and silver garland and tons of tinsel. No big tasteful bows or perching cardinals. And i love it all the more...

LOONGGG SURVEYYY

The longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.... Do this because the person who did this didn't sit here for ages for nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

Single or Taken: Married

Happy about that: More now.

Eye color: grayblue

shoe size: 8

Height: --- 5'4"

What are you wearing right now?: Pajama bottoms w/ bras, undies and other unmentionables on them and a striped tank top.

Righty or lefty: righty

Can you make a dollar in change right now?: if i dig

Best place to go for a date: depends on the mood, but probably an irish pub with live music and darts

FAVORITES
kind of pants: jeans

Number: 23

Animal: Turtle

Drink(non alcoholic): Juice

Sport: Soccer.

Month: October

Juice: Apple

Favorite cartoon character: Larry the Cucumber

Have You Ever...
Bungee Jumped?: nope

Made yourself throw-up?: no that normally happens on accident

Gone skinny dipping?: in my bathtub :-P

Eaten a hotdog?: Yes

loved someone so much it made you cry?: yes

Broken a bone?: yep

Played truth or dare?: yes

Been on a plane?: yep

Came close to dying? : i'm sure it's felt like

Been in a sauna?: Yes

been in a hotub?: yes

Swam in the ocean?: yes

Fallen asleep in school?: yes

Ran away?: no, but i wanna somedays

Broken someone's heart?: possible

Cried when someone died? : yes

Cried in school?: probably but I don't recall, i tend to keep that kinda stuff to myself if I can

Fell off your chair?: Yes

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call?: yes

Saved e-mails?: yes

Made out with JUST a friend?: yes

Used someone? probably

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What is...

Your good luck charm?: my blankey

New fav. song? Dope Hat Marilyn Manson

What is beside you?: a chair

What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?: Herbal essences

----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever Had..

Chicken pox: yes

Sore Throat: yes

Stitches: yes

Broken nose: no

A one night stand?: hmm... nothing that could classified as that.

Do You...

Believe in love at first sight?: kinda, ha, is that possible?

Long distant relationships?: have and they don't tend to work

Like school?: yes

Question?? save questions until the end of the presentation please

Who was the last person that called you?: aunt linda

Who was the last person you slow danced with?: my cousin

Who makes you smile the most?: My daughter

Who knows you the best? Halley.
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Do you like filling these out: It passes the time, good answer

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?: glasses

Do you like yourself: i have my moments

Do you get along with your family? for the most part yes

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are You...

Obsessive Compulsive?: No

Suicidal?: No

-----------------------------------

Final Questions:

Hated someone in your family? no.

Gotten any awards? Yes

What car/truck do you wish to have? something reliable that loosk half way decent and doesn't cost an arm and a leg in gas

Good driver? Not according to my hubby

Good Singer? heh, nope. Although I did sooth my mom on an airplane once with my singing.

Have a lava lamp?: at one time

How many remote controls are in your house? 3 but we only use 1

What was your last dream about? a strange one about whether a friend should stay married to this guy and the guy was addicted to a bazillion drugs, lived on the street and wore a wig... We have a meeting about whether they shoud stay together and the last vote was mine,

When you last showered: yesterday

Scary or Funny Movies? funny

Chocolate or Vanilla? um vanilla ice cream, chocolate candy... anything else I'll need further info on

Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper? rootbeer all the way

Skiing or Boarding? skiied once, wasn't too bad, but can't say great, but boaring if i had the cojones to do it.

Summer or winter? depends on where i am.

Silver or Gold? silver

Diamond or pearl? diamonds but pearls are nice too

Sprite or 7up? Sprite

Coffee or sweet tea? sweet tea

Phone or in person? depends on who the person is- i like this answer

are you oldest, middle or youngest? i'm da baby

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Today did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked: if yelling at my kids count, yes

2. Buy something: nope

3. Get sick? of noise

8. Talked to an ex? No

9. Miss someone? No
________________________________________________

Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed? me

11. Saw/heard you cry? the fly on the window

12. Made you cry? probably a dumb movie in combo with pms haha

13. Went to the movies with? my hubby

15. Said "I Love You"? My hubby
____________________________________________

16. Ever been in a fight with your pet? not that it would do me any good, one is clingy, the other doesn't give a shit.

18. Been to Mexico? nope but damn close... i'm still mad about that

20. Been to Europe? no... and oh how that stings
____________________________________________________

Random.....

21. Do you have a crush on someone right now: famous people i guess

22. What book are you reading now? just finished a Susan Kearney book and it was quite enjoyable

23. Best feeling in the world? feeling productive

24. Future KIDS names? none planned at the moment

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Nope, a pillow

26. What's under your bed? curtain rods

27. Favorite sports to watch? xgames or world cup or notre dame football

28. Favorite Locations? pent water and places I haven't been too yet

29. Piercing/Tattoos? yes to both

30. What are you most scared of right now? clowns or failure... at anything

31. Who do you really hate? Satan and his minions.

32. Do you have a job? homeschooling and writing, although I make no money at either

33. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with? Yes

34. Are you lonely right now? at times

38. Song that's stuck in your head right now? Black No. 1, thanks tia.

39. Have you ever played strip poker? nope

40. Have you ever gotten beat up? No but I probably should have.

42. Have you ever been on radio/TV? yes to both

43. Have you ever been in a "mosh-pit"? yes, many times

44. Ever liked someone, but thought they never noticed you? yes

___________________________________________

Random...

Whats the first things you notice about the opposite sex (visual)? face

Your Favorite Food? ranch dressing haha

Ever get so drunk you dont remember the night before? not the whole thing, but the parts where I'm drunk yes... nothing like waking up in the middle of the road of another country on halloween.

Hair color? red and blond, may change soon

Are you too shy to ask someone out? yes but shy may not be the right term

Aim? People who need to know about that should fear me, cause i'll get em.

Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? butter w/ salt

Dogs or cats? doggies, allergic to kittens although they are cute

Favorite Flower? tulip

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? flying, although I have to ride at least an hour in the car to get there, so that sucks

How many pillows do you sleep with? 2

Ooh! something new.

The two story brick home was traditional in this part of town. Nothing set it apart from its neighbors. Even the high tech security system appeared mundane, no small signs with “dwarf secured” on them adorned the lawn. The metal gate was stately with a large Calligraphic F on the center. It was also slightly ajar.

I pushed through the gate, noting the lack of security. Anyone could’ve been in there by then. Stepping across the threshold, there was no noise save the squishing of the wet leaves beneath my feet. A pale blue security light hummed above my head. I was surprised to see it there, most shape shifters wanted it dark, not only for secrecy but they also wanted the moon unobstructed. The light afforded me a better look of the house however. The leaves on the driveway weren’t the only sign of neglect. They also littered the gutters and a small piled cornered itself in the front door. If intruders had gotten into the house, it wasn’t through that door. It had been days, perhaps weeks since it’d been opened.

Not wanting to alert anyone to my presence, I left my car a ways down the street. I may not have investigated a security breach before, but I knew enough that I didn’t want to come in guns a blazing. Although, to be honest, that did hold a certain appeal for me, I always did like violent movies. I was here to investigate, not protect, not arrest, not to instill truth, justice and the American way.

Wazzup

What's been going on with me...

Well, we are getting/buying a whole shitload of Christmas stuff for our tree. Moving furniture, rearranging stuff... geez this tree business is a lot of work.

We had a Christmas family outing with my in laws on Saturday. We went to "Christmas Caberet" a singing/dancing Christmas carol performance tracing the evolution of carols to modern day spoof songs, very nicely done, beautiful in the beginning, to hysterical ones toward the end. If anyone near Tampa, Fl reads this... it's at the Performing Arts center and goes on til the 31st... go see it!

Since I've gotten through the first few chapters of rewrites, I've been working on my query letter Ugh! My high concept is not only high, but long and involved.

And now for my favorite Christmas song... albeit done a little unconventionally.

Go buy this book

oh man, SOOO late

Geez ok, I've tried to blog a few times already today but keep getting waylaid. Christmas time business is not conducive to blogging.

So what's new with me? Well I've gotten up to page 53 rewritten for book 1 YAY! After I finish this chapter I will focus on writing a synopsis and query letters. Then I'll get back to the rest of the book.

So far its been a...

Bad Bad day.

To match my mood...


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Hubby's Birthday today

He turned 34 today. Woohoo I'm married to an old man :-P

So due to that, this is short and late, sorry folks.

Here is a tiny bit more of yesterday's ditty...

And that’s where I sit, glued to the pot, stinking the universe up to high heaven and wishing that I hadn’t ordered chili cheese fries at the diner. The bathroom was getting dangerously warm. My cheeks were overheated and my breaths were coming in short breaths. I used the newspaper I was reading to fan myself. Reading the article about him wasn’t making me any more comfortable.

The tree outside scratched against the side of the aluminum-sided house...

...........

Also... and I don't want this to be taken in any sort of conceited way because it is not meant as such. I was reading through some of my manuscript, and was blown away by how much I got into it. I mean I wrote this thing, it should just be boring blah blah I know what's coming next... but it wasn't... next thing I knew I was 60 pages further into reading it and didn't know what the hell happened to the time. Man, that rocked. I get excited when other people tell me how much they enjoy what I write, and I've found myself enjoying my own writing, but I've never been so embroiled in it before. Wow, I'm very excited about my prospects of getting published. This helped me really get back into the spirit.

Leaky ass

If it wasn’t from the cheap beer or open-all-night diner food, than it was from nerves. The news said he was out again tonight, and in my area. Living alone in the woods had its advantages, but this wasn’t one of them. I was virtually glued to the pot with sick business passing through my guts. I don’t care how tough of a guy you are, the combination of diarrhea and crazy murderer in your area will do anyone in.

My physique normally scares people away. Being well over six feet tall and over three hundred pounds of solid muscle will do that. The shaved head, goatee and tattoos don’t hurt either. But this guy got to me.

The news said they received a report of him seen with a pack of wild dogs. Fitting isn’t it? Some crazy guy running with a pack of wolves? It would be, if that were the case. He wasn’t running with the wolves, he was attacking them. Dismembered may be a better word. My neighbors were finding pieces of animals in various places on their properties.

I had over a hundred acres and as soon as I hard the news I hightailed it out of here, he was targeting tough looking mother fuckers after all. So, I went and got drunk, then got some food well away from here. If pay day wasn’t until tomorrow, I would’ve gotten a hotel room tonight, most of my neighbors had. Sure, I could’ve stayed at the diner all night, but who can have diarrhea in a public bathroom? Not me. No, my tough-looking, leaky ass hauled itself back home to die.


More to come tomorrow!

Ohh now it time for a cheesy, needlessly violent death metal video WOOHOO!

Recovering...

Sorry for the lack of blog yesterday. My allergies kicked my ass hard. I spent my day sneezing and drowning in snot.

So I don't have a whole bunch to report today on my progress. A few pages here and there. Oh I did come up with a blurb to describe the book though. That will be useful when I get to the point of writing query letters.

I did watch a good movie though. Great movie in fact. Clerks II was pleasantly surprising. To quote NY Times "Clerks II has a dirty mind, but is pure of heart." Despite all the crude, albeit hilarious, jokes, it is actually quite touching. If you like any of Kevin Smith's ViewAskew movies, you'll love this one.

I just have one thing to say today...

Website update and prompt

I posted some of my shorts/prompts on the website. And the revised chapter 1 is now on there.

Beginning of a prompt... more to come later.

My body wouldn’t wake up. I knew it must, for it was dangerous to die in a dream. Yet, here I did, multiple times, seemingly without repercussions. Perhaps it was because I had no control of the dream, not even subconsciously.

Whether above or below controlled the dream, I don’t know. Either it is in preparation for the future, or torment of the present, and past. This is a recurring dream. Regardless of who is in the driver seat, the outcome was the same. I was afraid of the devil, for he knew my name.

I think it was his unassuming nature. Everyone else saw him as a mild-mannered, charismatic man. I saw a tall, menacing figure in a purple suit, nothing unassuming about that. Most people saw what I call, the serial killer image of him. I saw the man behind the mask, if the word man can even be used to describe him.

No one else seemed to notice the waves outside the ship were on a loop. They weren’t real. They repeated themselves every two minutes, as did the seagull’s music. What got me the most, though, were the people. Not everyone was real. I’d walk around the deck of the ship, that my father so graciously uprooted his family to be on, and have to maneuver around groups of paper cut outs. Voices were muffled, simulating many people speaking at once. For all I know, the track could’ve been a colony of birds just placed over the groups of paper cut out people.

My parents would walk by the groups, gently nodding and smiling at each one. In fact, my father even attempted to strike up a conversation with one portly looking gentleman. I wanted to state the obvious, that my father was talking to a large cardboard figure and shouldn’t expect it to be very conversational, when my father began his side of a two sided conversation. It appeared the cutout was talking back, not that I heard it.

I suppose the thought of me being insane should’ve crossed my mind. How could I be the only one who saw these things? Hell, even my dog didn’t seem to mind the devil. Surely, that meant something. Animals are more attuned to these kinds of things aren’t they? They should be howling, or trying to break out of their cages. But no, my dog decided its favorite spot was going to be on the devil’s lap. It may have been fitting if he were a hound of some sort. But no, my dog was a Bichon Frese, a small fluffy white dog, who loved the devil.


And now for a sexy Scottish accent and a big gay cat.

It's official, I'm a rule breaker

I broke the "rules of revising" and I couldn't be happier about. The past 3-4 days have been fruitless endeavors in revision. But I bucked convention and just did it how I wanted to do it last night. I wanted to rewrite chapter 1, so I did. And boy am I happy I did. I think it turned out incredible. I don't know how many times I've rewritten that sucker but I finally feel that its done.

I got through 18 pages of rewrites yesterday and am feeling pretty darn good about it. I can keep up at least that level of progress. If that's the case I will get through the book in 20 days. Not bad. That means I can possibly have query letters going out by the first of the year. I will feel confident because my ms will be revised, the synopsis will be written (oh God don't let that be as big of a chore as I anticipate it will) Book 1 will be in its finished form, then I can dedicate my time to book 2 and plotting out ideas for future books.

I think perhaps I just need to do what I feel lead to do. There are of course rules to writing... but until I learn those completely, I need to go by what I feel. I want to rewrite chapter 1? I write it, I don't care if I didn't read through the whole thing to get a better feel for where my character is at the end... that didnt work for me. I need to start making up my own rules.

And courtesy of my good friend Marzie... another who bucks convention. Up the independent thinkers!

Revision... what have I done to you?

Not a damn thing ugh! I did read through about 30 pages of the ms and take notes on what to change (which is what I'm told you should do.) It is kind of difficult to do that. I see a mistake... and I can't change it right then? Hmm, irritating.

And of course I got sidetracked by a million things, not the least of which was Christmas shopping online. Oh how I love to make it through a Christmas season without having to go to the mall. Wonders abound.

I'm sure I will get distracted today. I need to finish addressing my Christmas cards. I also want to put my short stories/writing prompts on my website.

My hubby and sons are going away for the weekend, so that will give me uninterrupted time to work... we'll see if that actually works. I just haven't gotten into the right frame of mind yet.

I thik its mostly because the parts I worked with before were the beginning ones... and I need to start there with the reading... but it's bogging me down. Don't get me wrong, its not that I don't think I wrote good stuff. I do, I like what I wrote... but who can eat their favorite food everyday? Well, not me.

Maybe it'll help if I just skip forward a bit... I know I know, not following the rules. But hey, if the rules aren't working for me right now, why stick to em? Basically I need to get in touch with my characters, and where they end up in the book, so I can rewrite from the beginning with their end in mind. I can insert foreshadowing... make the story much more complex.

And now for a depressing, albeit, lovely song.

Time...

December First... *sigh*

Time is passing me by. It is Decemeber now, that means I'm supposed to start my revisions today. And of course, my mind isn't in the right frame for that.

Looks like I'll have to take some drastic steps today to get my mind there. It is just mush right now... barely a creative spark in there.

I think perhaps I'll go for a hike, maybe grocery shopping, which won't help me, but it needs to be done. Maybe I'll cook something special. Having a clean house with the smells of home cooked food is a balm to the battered spirit, which is the status of mine today.

And this is my parent's song...